Friday, September 18, 2009

Perfectly Imperfect

Silky, flawless skin…those cheekbones…34-24-35…flat,  toned
abs…long, cellulite-resistant legs…she looks perfect! You are watching Top Supermodel of the World Cindy Crawford on cable TV and you could hardly deny the powerful rush of heat on your face as you blurt out, "I dont like her!" Listen: Envy.What you’re actually saying is that you’re incredibly imperfect and perfect Cindy Crawford rubs it in.

To start with, you wake up one morning with a hideous angry zit right in the middle of your nose. You never imagined that being a late bloomer meant having acne at age 30. You’re panicking over the fact that you have the same waistline as your brother, who’s a wrestler and a football player, that’s why you hardly wear your blouses "tucked in." You cringed every time you hear the name Bill Clinton on TV…which reminds you of your "belly". And your litany goes longer—face is too round, nose is too flared, gums are too dark, you have no butt, you have three chins, etc.., etc.

Most people are uncomfortable with imperfection. And it doesn't have to be in the physical aspect alone. Intelligence, talents, expectations, and yes, even spirituality, is judged by the standards of "imperfection." We keep saying, "Nobody’s perfect," but we have a hundred and one ways of denying our imperfections. A writer wrote, "Words as is well-known, are the greatest foes of reality." The unspoken reality says that you have to be the best, the most excellent, the prettiest, the most popular, or you are nothing at all. This is a tragic human mistake because being human is being all or nothing at all. You were, are, will always be a paradox—beautiful and ugly, winner and looser, sinner and saint.

One of the trademarks of the closet perfectionist is the great difficulty to forgive oneself. Because of the all-or-nothing standard you haven't gotten around to forgive yourself for the past sins. Like, you made life difficult for your mother five years ago because you got pregnant and didn't know who is the father of your son. And you slandered your best friend last year…so day in and day out, you carry the weight of guilt and shame. And because you’ve mastered the art of being nasty to yourself, you experience great difficulty forgiving and accepting others. The bible says, "Love your neighbor as you love yourself."

I am convinced that the reason most people cant forgive and love others is because they cant forgive and love their own selves. So, why not abandon the self-defeating attitude of perfection? How? Simple. Forgive. Forgive yourself for being imperfect. Forgive your parents for being imperfect. Forgive the world for being imperfect. And go back to God’s embrace for making the presence of crack’s in everything thing he has made the wondrous perfection of imperfection. For love won't exist without it.

Being human is the art of living with our imperfections each day. Every waking moment. The Bible calls it pilgrimage. God doesn't expect you to be perfect, He expects you to be a pilgrim. Why not begin your pilgrimage today. You’ll finally feel more at home with yourself and others. Much happier, too.

And by the way, Cindy Crawford hasn’t had much success in marriage. Pretty imperfect?

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