Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Saklolo

ang lungkot. pero kasalanan ko to kaya wala ko magawa. nasasaktan ako. pero wala naman ako mapagsabihan. pinili ko kasi to. kaya kasalanan ko to. lahat ng nangyayaring to ako ang may gawa. kaya nagsusulat na naman ako. dito ko na lng ibububos ang lahat.

di ko kasi sya kaya ipaglaban. mas pinipili ko kasi magtago kesa harapin ang laban. kaya siguro ganito ang nangyayari.

ramdam ko na unti-unting di na sya nagiging akin. di ko na kasi sya mahawakan o kaya makausap ng matino. ayaw na nya makipagkita saken. pakiramdam ko tuloy isa lng syang ilusyon o kathang isip ko. mag uusap lng kami dahil obligasyon namin magtawagan sa umaga para gisingin sya, sa tanghali para ipaalala na kumain na kami at sa gabi para ipaalam na matutulog na kami.

nararamdaman ko na unti-unti na sya lumalayo at nawawala saken. parang hindi na sya masaya saken. di na nya ko kinakausap ng gaya ng dati. naglilihim at nagtatago na sya. nagmamadali na sya kausap ako.. at palaging pinapatayan ng telepono. di na sya interesado sa mga kwento ko. at madalas na sya magdahilan o magsinungaling saken.

pero kasalanan ko to. hindi ko masunod ang gusto nya. di ko sya maipakilala sa mga magulang ko. kaya siguro ganito na ang ihip ng hangin. ako ang may gawa nito. kaya bakit ako nagre-reklamo?

kaya hinahanda ko ang puso ko sa kung ano ang mga susunod na estado ng buhay pag ibig ko. nakipapaglaban naman ako at kunakapit. pero hanggang kelan ko ba kakayanin to?

magiging napakahirap to. pero sana maisalba ko pa to. pano ba humingi ng saklolo?

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Sad Realization

I guess, we never really loved each other. At one point, I thought that it was just me who gave the most. Thinking back I now know that we both made a fair fault.

We never had the chance to sit down and chat about our pains. Not once did I remember talking about my dark heart with you. I never remember having a chance confiding with you as comfortable as I am with my other friends. I guess I never really want a piece of my darkness shared with you. I never heard you talk about your life plans with me either. You were too hidden to me as much as I am with you.

Every thing is about happiness when I am with you. No dramas. No flicks. Just all smiles.

So you took me lightly even when I bid my  goodbye. Until you realize it was really the end. 

The first sad story is our last.

Let's not meet again. 

Monday, April 22, 2013

Sagurong at Castilla, Sorsogon

I was born and raised in Manila. Having said that, I have always been deprived of seeing the wonders of nature. That is why, whenever I see beautiful mountains, deep oceans, wide rivers, etc. I am always amazed and my heart is always filled with unexplainable sensation.

Just recently, I went to Bicol to enjoy the beautiful mountain. Little did I know that aside from the perfectly coned mountain, also lies a much more fascinating view of the province. In my visit to Bicol, I went to see some relatives in Sorsogon.

Sorsogon is widely surrounded by waters except in some areas linked to Albay where it is known to be surrounded by mountains. In fact, Sorsogon is known to be the home of the "butanding." In my big adoration to bodies of water, I was introduced to visit a very beautiful spring called "Sagurong."

Sagurong (literal translation Alulod) is located in La Union, Castilla, Sorsogon. It is situated at the heart of the mountain, in an area where you least expect to see a body of water. Before you even get to see the cold spring, you need to take a 300-400m walk to the foot of the mountain. Vehicles (except Motorcycles) are unlikely to enter the area. The bathing area is small that you can compare it to a regular sized swimming pool. The pool area is surrounded by big rocks formed naturally by the mountains with water being filled directly from the heart of the mountain whose temparature is similar to an ice being defrosted from a refrigerator. This is a perfect place to bathe after drenching yourself under the hot sun. The water is very clean and very refreshing.

The area is not commercialized. For Php5 entrance fee, you can use the cottages for free as long as you bring your trash back home. It is an amazing place to swim. And although it is cold, it keeps you from wanting to swim more.











Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Garfield Nail Art

Kung meron mang isang bagay na katangi-tanging patunay na, ako'y isang pusong bata (child at heart) ay iyon ang walang hanggang pagmamahal ko kay Garfield. Bata pa lang ako nango-ngolekta na ako ng mga Garfield items. Mula sa lapis, pambura, papel, komiks, poster, towel, coin purse, frame, stuff toy, atbp tinatago ko basta orihinal na likha ni Jim Davis (PAWS).

Bagamat wala akong pagkagiliw na nararamdaman sa mga hayop na pusa (hindi cartoons), may kakaibang pakiramdam na makita si Garfield. Siya lang kasi ang karakter na alam kong hindi nagkukunwari. Gutom na kung gutom. Tamad na kung tamad. Pero alam ko na totoo ang pusong ipinapakita nya sa manonood nya. Samahan mo pa na kagaya ko ay napakatakaw nya.

Kaya napakasaya ko talaga ng sa wakas ay may Garfield Nail Art na din ako. Hindi ko man ito maitatago o maku-kulekta, maipagmamalaki kong tatak Garfield na ang kuko ko.
 
 
Salamat kay Elaine Joy Ramos (on FB, tips 'n hues) pagkatapos ng isang taon na paghihintay, ayan success story na ang Garfield Nail Art ko.
 
Sa susunod ibang Garfield design naman ha.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Matthew 18:20

"For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."

When we pray, we have to be clear with our intentions. While the Lord knows our heart, he needs our desire spoken and heard. When we pray, we have to make sure that the prayer is intended for Him. Sometimes we find our prayers unanswered because we are not clear with what we want. We always think the Lord will understand even if we don't speak. Yes it is true that the Lord knows the desires of our heart, but the Lord answers those who asks.

When we pray, we also have to ask someone to pray for our prayers. For when a prayer is asked by many, He is there to answer it. Just the same when you go to church and you pray for your personal intentions, ask the Lord to grant the prayers of your seatmates (those seated at your front, your sides and your back).

Remember the Lord listens to our prayers. But we also have to take part in our praise and worship in Him. Amen.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

SM Ayala: At Your Service???!

 
At around 6PM today, December 19, 2012 I went to SM Makati to buy toiletries. I paid my groceries/toiletries to the cashier worth Php166.25. Since I have no change, I gave my Php1000 bill to her in payment. She checked the bill to see its authenticity. Having used to that kind of attitude to all of SM cashiers, I let her do her routine and even smirked at it. After all she is just doing the right thing.
She checked it about three times before finally deciding to sensor it via the counterfit detector machine. I saw it through my eyes that the serial number was found in the bill. However, the cashier was left unsatisified and re-checked it three times. In my irritation, I asked her (in polite way): "Wala bang serial number?" She answered politely and said: "Meron naman po." She re-checked it one more time (or I guess three more times). I am getting irritated already but of course I kept my calm because it is her job to protect your business.
I thought this ended her doubt. But to my surprise, she opened the cashiers' box and compared the bill to the other Php1000 bill inside the drawer. Still not enough, she raised the money on air checking to see if the bill is a counterfeit. To validate her findings, she caught her nearby cashier's attention and voiced out her doubt on the authenticity of the bill. The nearby cashier even asked very loudly: "Bakit, hindi ba ano?" That's when I started freaking out because the other customers were staring at me as if checking if I was a fraud. I then told her she is insulting me and directed her to get a supervisor to check my bill. Upon arrival, the supervisor advised it was authentic and directed her to close the counterfeit detector machine and that resolved the issue on my Php1000 bill.
However resolved, I still felt that the insult to my pride was greatly damaged. Just imagine the humiliation I felt at that time when people were staring at me simply because that cashier doubted a Php1000 bill. I wonder if this is the kind of training SM produces and provides with their employees. Working in the same customer service field, I learned that you don't humiliate a customer simply because you are doubting something. Instead, you do your investigation quietly and if still in doubt, you immediately seek your superior's expert opinion. However, the cashier was fearless to humiliate me and maliciously treat my money as a counterfeit. I wonder if it was because I wasn't wearing fancy clothes that she doubted whether I have the capacity to pay with a Php1000 bill. Last I check, people shouldn't be judged the way they look.
Let me just clarify however that I wasn't complaining because she did her routine in inspecting my money. After all, I understand that fraud is present anywhere. Plus I wasn't too scared about it as I know my money isn't a counterfeit. What I cannot accept is that she had to be so loud catching other people's attention and thereby compromising my reputation.
Allow me to remind SM supermarket that as they instruct their employees to protect their business, they also have to remind them that they also have the duty to protect us -- customers. After all, we are also part of their business. It is okay to perform your job but please don't overdo it. I certainly hope this will not happen to other customers like me.
To be honest with you, I highly doubt I will ever consider SM again as my one stop shopping place. The neighboring stores may be able to protect my interests more. They may be offering more expensive products but I think it is worth their customer service.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Nakaraan, Ngayon at Bukas

Nung bata pa lang ako, pinangarap ko na magiging doktor ako pag laki ko. Hawak ang laruang stethoscope, nagbibida-bidahan ako sa kunwaring pag-gamot ko sa mga kalaro ko. Nung makita ko na naglalaro ng baril barilan ang mga kapatid kong lalaki at natatalo nila ako, inisip kong maging pulis para makaganti ako sa kanila pag laki ko. Pero dahil malalakas sila, at kulang ang powers ng laser sword ni Shaider, naisip ko na lang maging isang ninja ghostbuster. Cool yun. Ano nga ba ang laban ng lumilipad na bala sa lumilipad na taong si Jet Li sa pelikulang Once Upon a Time in China. Parang tumalon lang si Jackie Chan ng walang double sa isa sa kanyang pelikula. O di naman kaya para madugo gagayahin ko ang stunts ni Rain sa pelikulang Ninja Assassin. Ang lufet!

Ngunit nung mapanood ko sa TV ang bidang artista na gumanap bilang titser napag-isip isip ko na mas mainam maging guro. Biglang nagunaw ang pangarap ko na maging doktor at walang gatol na pagsisisi ang nadama ko. Mga ilang buwan ko din naman ninais na maging isang guro. Sa katunayan pa nga, nagiging tutor ako ng mga kalaro ko sa mga assignments nila. Kaya madalas akong mapagalitan ng nanay ko. Paano kasi natapos ko ang homework ng kalaro ko pero ako walang tinapos. Bwahahaha. Pero nang tumuntong ako sa grade 4,  tumibay ang pangarap ko na maging isang abogado. Uso kasi noon yung palabas na Ipaglaban Mo. Kaya ayun hanggang mag-kolehiyo ako, heto ang pangarap na gusto kong maabot.

Nakakatuwang isipin na sa mga nakaraang yugto ng aking buhay, ang dami ko palang pangarap na hindi ko binigyan ng pansin. Kasi parte ito ng aking kabataan. Wag lang ako malingat, may iba na akong gusto at pinapangarap. Masarap balik-balikan ang ganitong eksena ng buhay ko.

Madaming pangarap, libre lahat. Ang kalaban ko lang noon ay ang kabataan ko. Hindi ko man naabot ang isa sa mga pinangarap ko, masaya pa din ako dahil kahit papaano naging normal pala ako nung bata pa ko.

Sa pagbabalik tanaw ko sa nakaraang 30 taon ng aking buhay, dama ko ang sarap ng aking kabataan. Simple lahat. Libre lahat. Masarap gunitain ang mga nagdaang taon ng aking buhay. Salamat sa mga taong naging bahagi ng aking 30 taon. At ngayong malapit ng mawala ang edad ko sa kalendaryo, ano naman kaya ang magiging takbo at antas ng aking pamumuhay?

Nung isang buwan, sinabi ko na ililista ko ang lahat ng mga accomplishments ko. Pero nagahol ako sa panahon. Kaya mga blessings ko na lang ang isusulat ko.

1. Buhay pa din ako pagkatapos ng 30 taon. Thank you, Lord.
2. May trabaho pa din ako kahit reklamo ako ng reklamo.
3. Kumpleto pa din ang magulang ko kahit ang hirap nila palakihin.
4. Kumpleto din ang mga kapatid ko kahit hindi kami makumpleto sa mga pagtitipon.
5. May mga kamag-anak ako na nakakilala sa akin tuwing Pasko. Nagniningning tuloy ang Pasko ko kasi ang daming bibigyan ng aginaldo.
6. May bahay pa din akong tinutuluyan tuwing umuulan.
7. May bahay pa din akong tinutuluyan tuwing tag-araw.
8. Nakakain ako ng madami kaya ang taba ko.
9. Nakakainom din ako ng madami - tubig at alak pagsamahin mo na.
10. Nakakapanood ako ng korea novela at updated ako sa mga latest series.
11. Kahit matanda na si Garfield, mukha pa din syang bata. Kaya siya pa din ang paborito kong cartoon character.
12. Marunong ako magluto kaya madami din nabubusog at tumataba dahil sa akin.
13. May mga kaibigan akong tapat sa akin.
14. May mga kaibigan akong nangagamit sa akin - dahil sa kanila alam ko ang pakiramdam na maging uto-uto at di ko na ito uulitin pa.
15. Marunong ako mag-sulat kaya may blog page ako. Kahit konti ang follower ayos pa din yun.
16. Mataba ako kaya nauuna ako sa mga nag-uunahan makahanap ng masasakyan. Sorry na lang kung mabangga sila ng taba ko.
17. Maganda ako kasi wala namang baboy na hindi makinis ang balat. Lahat pa ng baboy ay babe sa paningin ng lahat.
18. Madaldal ako kaya walang nagpapatago ng lihim sa akin. Magkabukingan man, hindi ako ang sisisihin sa mga kasalanan.
19. Makulit ako kaya hindi ako inaasar ng ibang tao. Ayaw kasi nila maramdama ang ang kakulitan ko. Asarin man nila ako, nakakasiguro sila na ibabalik ko ng doble sa kanila iyon.
20. Blessing din sa akin ang malabong mata. At least kung may makasalubong ako na di ko gusto makita, maiisip nya na dahil malabo lang ang mga mata ko kaya di ko sya binati man lang.
21. Blessing din sa akin ang malinaw na pandinig. Dahil dito, kaya kong marinig ang mga chismis ng bayan. At dahil din dito kaya hindi ako mapag-tsismisan.
22. Blessing din ang pagiging matakaw. Kung hindi ito blessing, hindi ko isusulat ang number 8. (uy, babalikan nya ung number 8)..
23. Blessing din sa akin ang mga galit sa akin (kung meron man). Masaya paminsan-minsan na may kagalit ka. Para maramdaman mo na normal ang buhay.
24. Blessing din sa akin ang pagtanda. Nararamdaman ko na may deadline ang lahat ng bagay.
25. Blessing din ang pagsulat ng blog na ito kasi nagagamit ko ang konting brain na meron ako.
26. Blessing sa akin ang mga kamay ko -- bukod sa maganda ito -- nagiging instrumento ito ng pagsusulat ko.
27. Blessing ang mga paa ko. Hindi ko ata magagawa ang 1-26 ng hindi lumalakad o gumagalaw man lang.
28. Super blessing ang hindi pagtalikod ni Lord sa akin.
29. Super blessing na hindi Siya humihingi ng bargain sa mga kasalanan ko.
30. Super blessing ang pagmamahal ni Lord sa akin. I who is nothing and have nothing.

Nananabik ako sa magiging buhay ko sa hinaharap. Alam kong magiging makabuluhan ito, sa awa ni Lord.