Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The Way It Was

I’ve lost. It’s over now. I hate to admit it but I guess I was fooled — or rather I am a fool. I am no longer clinging on it. Finally I am learning goodbye is the answer after all. It is very difficult to let go but I am being brave to accept. I am not taking any shortcuts. I am taking the hardest way out so that I shall never dare to go back again.

There’s really nothing to begin with so this should not be taken as the end. But as it never started, let it stay that way. I shall not be at any others dispense. I shall never be someone’s convenience. I have to stop now. Stop while I am still sane to say no. There will never be tears.

No right to hope for. The fantasy is over. The fiction has long been gone. Back to reality. No need to go back to my old self. I should embrace these changes brought about by pain and weariness.

Don’t get near me. Stay where visibility is impossible. Stay there forever until the gloom turns into lightness and darkness into happiness.

It won’t be forever. I am learning to look at the same direction again. This time, with no more qualms or fear. I shall be gleeful again. When the time comes.

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