Thursday, November 11, 2010

Healing Time

“Never make someone a priority when to them, you are simply an option.”

This was a phrase that sank me to the lowest. Thanks to Fat Fajardo, this made me ponder big time on my real value.

To simply put it, I have allowed myself to become a puppet for several months now. It’s not because I don’t love myself but I was just trying to punch my hands in the air. Wishing it could work out well. Maybe it was my mistake for caressing this bad habit. Maybe I’m just a freak and emotional trying to get attached without realising I am getting detached. Maybe I was just being me.

I really think that is such an asinine concept to hope for the hopeless. For several months, I have allowed myself to circle around someone else’ life even with the knowledge that I am a third grade option — just a third best. I didn’t guard my heart. For the longest time you can record, I have been a total idiot thinking that somewhere, sometime things could make a difference.

No matter how big the effort I put in or how much I strive to become better, there is someone best. However time I invest, there will be something worth keeping. How much love I give in, it can’t be accommodated. Whatever I do, there’ll be perfect choices to get from. For how can you enter a heart that has not even opened its door to you? How can you say hello to a feeling that has not even dared to welcome you?

This will be my final wailing. These striking moments will continue to hit me. But I dare to get hit just to heal.

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