Saturday, July 28, 2012


Life is about survival. Sometimes you’re up and at times you are down. You just need to go with the flow and trust that the Almighty is there to care for you. There will be moments when you are questioning your existence or your purpose in life. But it’s all about acceptance.

It was a fine sunny day. Everything seems to be according to how I planned it. Road traffic is on its perfect shape, no disturbance with my preparations, no disputes around me. It was a peaceful day. The latter part of the day however  didnt go on as to how I imagined it. It rained. It was a sign that a big thing is coming up and i have not brought my umbrella with me.

I had the longest waiting in my entire life. Eight hours was pretty tiring, exhausting and nerve-racking. It was like waiting for a pregnant woman to deliver her baby. It felt as in the plane getting stuck in air traffic and you don’t know how long it is going to stay up in the air. And it was like waiting for flood to stop after drowning several hectares of newly planted crops. I guess, the time called me to prepare for a bigger storm which I never took seriously. And for the first time in so many days, I was seeing my own downfall.

That night, I knew I was alone. I knew there were no familiar shoulders to lean on. And it is time for me to make the biggest decision of my life. It was the same night that all my unanswered questions have been replaced with a period. Though monetary issues can broke my heart, it shatters me that my life support is unplugged and detached. It was unbreakable and my well hidden tears came falling from my eyes.

I  had the longest day in my life. It felt like it will never end at all. But it was a day that I realized that I only have God with me.

Friday, July 20, 2012

In Vain

I never had the chance to test my EQ. And I don't think I am ready for that. I only know that if I were to undergo EQ evaluations, I would definitely fail for that. Not a slightest would I ever score the standard or normal score for that. No, I'm not proud of it. But yes, I am damned if I am not at it. 

For someone's patience as little as I have, waiting beyond deadline is an expectation. I was never trained to wait diligently and I will not compromise my precious time. Not in the wildest have I ever dreamt of waiting for someone not worthy of my time moreso for someone whom I know would never find the time of waiting for me in return.
No, waiting is never an option.