Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Beautifully Hidden Blessings

Once again, the country suffered devastation from mother nature. More than physical damages, people suffered emotional turmoil and traumatic experiences. At this stage, NDCC has counted 106 fatalities, 73 of which from Rizal area alone and they are still counting casualties. Since Saturday, we heard a thousand version of stories from different people on how much the typhoon brought damage to their homes and families.

We only see darkness at this stage caused by brownout, no cable TV, poor network coverage, no internet connection and a lot more. There were homeless families, hungry stomachs and what have you's in the world.

We may be saddened and disheartened at this stage. Sorrow fills our heart. While it is indeed difficult to turn our head towards goodness, we have to force ourselves to look towards God's direction.

What happened last Saturday may be a tragic scenario to most of us, but let's look at the greater blessings it brought us. The television had been non-stop in calling for donations and offering help. Government officials has released a multitude of funds to help those people who have suffered from the phenomenon. There were volunteers here and then. And people over the world sending concerns and news over the internet.

Who could ever imagine that in a span of 36 hours, television stations can raise millions of goods and cash to fund the relief operations. How can we describe the hundreds of our younger generations who went out and volunteered their service to those who are in need? Isn't it also rightful to say that God is also looking at us when He showed us that even the rich can also get affected by a natural phenomenon? And while this happened, don't we find it magnificent how energetic those rescuers are in finding casualties even at the most impossible place? Can't we see the warmth of prayers and texts sent to us by our dearest friends? Don't we also realise how strong bonding we have made with our neighbors who has been helping us constantly amidst them needing help as well? And how beautiful do we find everyone constantly praying for those who suffered the most.

Remember: Weeping will be followed by joy (Psalm 30:5). We may be grieving in pain because of the loved ones we lost, the material things gone and the homes we can't go back to. But we also have to count those beautiful blessings sent by God to us.

Gratitude to those who opened property doors to serve as immediate evacuation centres. Deepest thanks to people who stretched their pockets to generously give despite economic crisis. To churches who magnificently offered prayers during masses and services. How wonderful it is for the good hearted NGO's to offer help without even being asked. And don't we find it weird now that our government is cramming to find the solution to this current problem. In the end, this is all about Filipino values being tied back once more.

While we sank in deepest weary, remember that we owe it to God that we are still alive today together with the rest of our family members. He could have easily taken our lives. But see, He spared us his mercy. He has shown us his everlasting love.

It might be pain right now but this might also be His call to draw us all back to him. Let's continue to pray hard for those who are in pain and is suffering that they may learn to let go and move on. God is an ever loving and merciful God. He listens and he fills our heart. All we have to do is call Him and let's not lose faith. Amen.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Honest Lies

The biggest and the most repeated mistake any person can make is the denial of pain and rejection.  That’s why you mostly hear the phrases” “it’s okay,” “you’ll get by,” “that’s all right,” “there’s another chance,” etc. There is nothing wrong with this. Being human, you have an unconscious defense of protecting yourself from pain or shame. It’s human nature also to say nice things about failure to make someone better. The only time this turns unhealthy is when you start being addicted to the momentary feeling of comfort.  This leads you to delineate your physical being from thinking rationally and practically.

Like for example when someone is overweight you modestly term it as “healthy” even when your tongue is almost saying “obese”. Or when your friend religiously auditions for a  singing group pretending you don’t hear her being tone deaf and you still aid her the illusion that there will be another group next time. When at the back of your mind, you already plan to offer your novena to get her wish granted. Or you met the ugly frog princess of your friend and utter “she’s really nice” to the question of “How does she look like?”. You assume that just because you get away with it once, you presume everything will be the same as the previous ones. What you don’t realise is that the more you do this, the more you open yourself to greater lies.

Sadly, the big difference between knowing and feeling is invincible to the naked eye. You most of the time know that you’re all already at the tip of falling yet you hopelessly believe that there might be another chance. You quietly deny yourself the truth because you are just either scared to face the truth or you are just too coward to let go.  For instance, you tag your relationship as “it’s complicated” when the term only means not in a relationship. So what?!  You can’t decide whether or not you are in a relationship? Or are you trying to make people believe you are in a relationship but it’s just too complicated to even start with? What you’re actually telling me is that you’re in a quagmire but still thinks it is just fair so.  So what’s the difference between status “it’s complicated” and being single or not in a relationship?  Simple: it’s complicated gives you the delusion that you are in an unsure state of mind whether to stay or not stay in a relationship. In other words, you are honestly cheating yourself. While being single only means you accept being not in a relationship but it gives you the optimism of being happy in the future.

Culture check: Filipinos love to sugarcoat things to stay in a harmonious relationship. Listen: Your heart deserves truth for once.  You once heard Thomas Jefferson say:Honesty is the first chapter to the book of wisdom. Yet you only prove that wisdom does not apply to you.

I remember Paolo Coelho mentioned in one of his novels: “No one can lie, no one can hide anything, when he looks directly into someone’s eyes.” So prevent yourself from the habit of lying.  Try gazing into someone else eyes and begin telling the truth. Stop being nice to someone just because of what they can give or offer. Believe me, they only need an honest and a clean heart from you. You can simply bitch once and get it over with or allow yourself to be deceived and miserable till your next life.

Simply say “I’m not interested” to a man who offers to date you than say you are unavailable and think he’ll stop courting you. Or just say “I’m lazy today” than fabricate your reason for unapproved leave of absence and be found to be roaming around the mall by your supervisor. And be transparent to say STOP! rather than saying "till next time."

It isn’t too late to do it. You not only give enough justice for yourself but also avoid from sinning. In the end you will unravel the difference between an ordinary person and a knight: an ordinary person wears an armour to protect herself.  While the knight wears it to protect and fight for the greater truth.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Perfectly Imperfect

Silky, flawless skin…those cheekbones…34-24-35…flat,  toned
abs…long, cellulite-resistant legs…she looks perfect! You are watching Top Supermodel of the World Cindy Crawford on cable TV and you could hardly deny the powerful rush of heat on your face as you blurt out, "I dont like her!" Listen: Envy.What you’re actually saying is that you’re incredibly imperfect and perfect Cindy Crawford rubs it in.

To start with, you wake up one morning with a hideous angry zit right in the middle of your nose. You never imagined that being a late bloomer meant having acne at age 30. You’re panicking over the fact that you have the same waistline as your brother, who’s a wrestler and a football player, that’s why you hardly wear your blouses "tucked in." You cringed every time you hear the name Bill Clinton on TV…which reminds you of your "belly". And your litany goes longer—face is too round, nose is too flared, gums are too dark, you have no butt, you have three chins, etc.., etc.

Most people are uncomfortable with imperfection. And it doesn't have to be in the physical aspect alone. Intelligence, talents, expectations, and yes, even spirituality, is judged by the standards of "imperfection." We keep saying, "Nobody’s perfect," but we have a hundred and one ways of denying our imperfections. A writer wrote, "Words as is well-known, are the greatest foes of reality." The unspoken reality says that you have to be the best, the most excellent, the prettiest, the most popular, or you are nothing at all. This is a tragic human mistake because being human is being all or nothing at all. You were, are, will always be a paradox—beautiful and ugly, winner and looser, sinner and saint.

One of the trademarks of the closet perfectionist is the great difficulty to forgive oneself. Because of the all-or-nothing standard you haven't gotten around to forgive yourself for the past sins. Like, you made life difficult for your mother five years ago because you got pregnant and didn't know who is the father of your son. And you slandered your best friend last year…so day in and day out, you carry the weight of guilt and shame. And because you’ve mastered the art of being nasty to yourself, you experience great difficulty forgiving and accepting others. The bible says, "Love your neighbor as you love yourself."

I am convinced that the reason most people cant forgive and love others is because they cant forgive and love their own selves. So, why not abandon the self-defeating attitude of perfection? How? Simple. Forgive. Forgive yourself for being imperfect. Forgive your parents for being imperfect. Forgive the world for being imperfect. And go back to God’s embrace for making the presence of crack’s in everything thing he has made the wondrous perfection of imperfection. For love won't exist without it.

Being human is the art of living with our imperfections each day. Every waking moment. The Bible calls it pilgrimage. God doesn't expect you to be perfect, He expects you to be a pilgrim. Why not begin your pilgrimage today. You’ll finally feel more at home with yourself and others. Much happier, too.

And by the way, Cindy Crawford hasn’t had much success in marriage. Pretty imperfect?

Monday, September 14, 2009

Ganito Kami sa Makati

Subtitled: How to become a registered voter and wish you hadn't at all

Wag sana ganito sa buong bansa!

This blog is a yellowApple post. I am not scared and I dare to shed light to everyone. In this blog, I will let everyone know how I managed to overcome a horrible experience courtesy of COMELEC – Makati Branch.

Last Friday, I went to process some papers for my plan to go back to school. It was a freaking rainy day. Since I finished early, I decided to drop by COMELEC to finally exercise my privilege and my right to suffrage. I'm already 27 and been a tax payer for 7 years and haven't even had a say on my government. I thought this was high time for me to finally have my vote cast for next year's election. Plus the fact that I am a real admirer of Binay and he might need my support when he run for national election. This on my mind, I climbed my way up the 2nd floor of Makati Fire Station where COMELEC office is located. To my suprise, I found the lobby free of people lining up for registration. I knocked and enter the office only to find Ms. Eyeglasses on the front table. I asked if I can do my registration that day and she immediately shun me away saying that there is no registration that day and that I should get back on Monday.

As a first timer I politely asked the requirements to get registered. The less polite Ms. Eyeglasses shun me away the second time and directed me to the wall. The wall lists valid ID's which can be used for registration. Since, I am literal enough to understand that the wall does not speak, I bugged Ms. Eyeglasses again and asked: "Heto lang po ba ang requirements? Kailangan bang mag-submit ng ID na may Makati address?." Thankful enough Ms. Eyeglasses has not change mood and snobbishly said: "Isa lang sa mga yan!"

Since she's the boss, my only recourse is to go home and wait for Monday which happened to be today.

I remember waking up as early as 5am today just to get prepared but never did I thought that I'll have an extended nightmare.What expected to have been a good day turned out to be such a horror story that I dare not watch again.

I came with my brother so he can also get registered. We arrived 9AM at the office and was welcomed by Mr. Thin guy who immediately instructed us to photocopy our IDs. When we got back, he scanned through our photocopied IDs and said that the IDs weren't valid as there is no address listed on it.Whoooaaaah! I immediately recalled and retold what Ms. Eyeglasses told me but I was not listened to. He directed us to get a Police Clearance. Fine again. Boss number 2.

When we got to Makati Central Police Station, there were already a lot of people lined up to get their clearances. Dismay as I am, I have no choice but to line up and get it done for the day. I was overwhelmingly surprised to find the cost of the clearance. Php170! Just enough to feed a poor family's meal. Truth is, the clearance only cost 50 bucks, the remaining 120 is for their so called "Technical and processing fee." My initial reaction, who are those technical processing people and why do they charge that much?

I suddenly remember one of the subject courses I took in college where we analysed how there is such a big rate of unemployment in the Philippines. I can't help but think that however developed Makati is, we still can't deny the fact that there are still poor families living in this city. Assuming that Makati have good employment rate, we can't negate the fact that there are still a lot who strives to get employed and always unsuccessful. Why did I say so? All employers right now requires applicants to submit police clearances. And for a breadwinner of a poor family who barely make food on the table, paying Php170 bucks for a police clearance will have to let go. I wonder if Makati is ever thinking of this. But enough of this ideologies.

I am assuming that the technical and processing fee will cover for printing, paper, picture ink and police merienda. And since we are talking about technical fee, this might cover the load credits of the techie Mr. Superguard who is busy with his mobile phone texting that when I asked the process on getting the clearance, he asked me to line up. We were already standing for 5 minutes when the nice lady in my front said that the line is for picture taking and that I should first fill out a freaking form before paying. WTF! Mr. Superguard misled me simply because he can't be bothered texting! Fine and done thee. Just to finally undergo the correct process I let go. But for whatever reason, my brother was called and was asked to take his picture again, as apparently according to the so called technical staff, the information input isn't successful. How and why in the world they don't always make it on the first time?  Why do they still run carabaos when there are already tractors around? My only point: if they have the face to charge people that much, they should also have the balls to improve their system.

So after an hour and a half, we finally have our clearances. We went back (excitedly?) to COMELEC, but Mr. Thin Guy is no longer there. He was replaced by Big Daddy in orange who said that it is already cut off and that it is time that they go on lunch now. He took our photocopied IDs and said will just call our names by 1pm.  I scanned through my watch and found it is a quarter to 11. Do I have a choice again? This is Boss Number 3 we have on the floor.

We came back and found a lot of people already waiting. It was already 1:05 and no one started calling names. The office door is still closed no matter how many people already knocked. Big Daddy in orange went out the door by 1:10pm and announced: "Tapos na po ang cut off. Balik na lang po kayo bukas ng umaga. Dapat po alas-tres ang cut off kaya lang madaming tao kaya bukas na po kayo bumalik." WOW! Raging people here they come. Let's go back to what he said: there were a lot of people hence the cut off was not extended? So what the heck? Why didn't they ever let the hungry and angry people waiting outside know?

It is such a humid aftie and so that explains why people were really nuts about waiting. How come there's not even a single exhaust around? At 2pm, there was this Mr. Tummy who went out of the COMELEC office and began shouting to people. His litany includes people blocking the doorway, people can't understand that they can only accommodate a certain number of individuals a day, people shouldn't be angry etc. etc.. So let me go back to him and ask: why is he ranting outside when he should have been working at his desk and speed up the registration process? Why is he is taking a cigarette break chatting with his fat buddies outside when he just came from an extended lunch at 1:10PM? And why does he need to freaking bitch outside when he could be a little diplomatic.

Sum up we ended at 3:30 PM.

That tragic registration process cost my whole day when I could have been spying for another interesting school to accommodate me next semester. Or I could have been using this to rest. My brother lost his two therapy sessions and has been unproductive for the day. Not to mention the disappointment from his clients. I am just thankful I am on leave today and my brother's a free lancer. But how about the other citizens out there? They only want to invoke their right to suffrage. But they have been made to wait for hours, hungry and heat exhausted but earned nothing.

I freaked out with the realisation that government staff can boss around because no one else will do the job if they don't. For the first time since he ruled Makati, I begin to lay doubts on our dearest Mayor. I might have to check other options for national election.  And how else can he fulfill his banner? I wish this doesn't happen to my entire motherland.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Pagbabalik Tanaw

Ika-13 ng Setyembre 1982. Ipinanganak ako sa ganap na ika-anim ng umaga. Isa itong araw na hindi inaasahan ng lahat. Isa itong binabagyong araw ng Setyembre. Parang sumpa lang. Akalain niyo pagkapanganak ko pa lang, lumuluha na ang langit. Bakeeeeettttt?

E wala naman kasing alam na buntis yung nanay ko. Unwanted Child  kasi ako. Maka-ilang ulit pa ngang binalak na ipalaglag ako. Iniisip ko, kung talagang ninais ng nanay ko na ipalaglag ako, wala din naman ako magagawa. Kasi wala namang bata ang humiling na mabuhay o ipanganak sila sa mundo. Hindi sila nagkaron ng karapatan mamili ng magulang.

Nung ipinagbubuntis ako, ilang beses sumapi sa kulto ng starvation ang nanay ko. Di siya kumakain at talagang hunger strike ang drama ng samahang iyon. Sinubukan niya pa nga mag-yoga noon sa pag-aakalang isa itong uri ng akrobat na nakamamatay. Naisipan din pumasok ng nanay ko bilang isang detektib para lang lubusan siyang mapagod at mawala na ko sa sinapupunan niya. Binalak din niya mag-bungee jumping para matuluyan na kaya lang hindi natuloy kasi may acrophobia siya.  At kung ano-ano pang gimik ang naisip niya. Kaya lang olats siya palagi. Sadyang malakas ang kapit ko. May lahi ata akong mangkukulam kasi talagang kinapitan ko ng husto ang tiyan ng nanay ko. Kaya pala palaging mabilis humaba ang kuko ko.

Isang araw bago ako ipanganak,hindi pa din siya sumusuko sa ideyang wag ko na masilayan ang mundo. Kuwento niya pa kahit daw pumutok na ang panubigan niya, tiniis niya ng husto sa pag-aakalang may pag-asa pa siya na mamatay ako. E hindi pala puwede yun. Sa ayaw at sa gusto man niya, lalabas talaga ko. Mamimili lang siya: papayagan niya na ako mag-hello world o sasama na siya sa hukay sa tiyanak na nasa sinapupunan niya. Ayun nanaig ang pagmamahal ng nanay ko sa sarili niya. Sa awa naman ng mga hokus pokus ng mga espiritu ng maligno, isang napakagandang anghel ang lumabas sa katauhan ko. O walang kokontra, birthday ko ngayon.

At dahil birthday ko ngayon, wag kayo magagalit. Dahil maliban sa pagiging anghel na katauhan ko, lahat ng mga pinagsasabi ko hindi totoo.

Sang-ayon sa NSO copy ng birth certificate ko, four pounds lang daw ako nung pinanganak ako. Sinong mag-aakala? Tingnan niyo naman at lumaki akong dambuhala. Ang tanda ko, grade six ako nung huli akong makitang payat. E makakalimutin pa naman ako. Kung sa paanong paraan talagang nagmistulang elepante ako sa laki. Paano ba naman, wala akong tigil sa paglamon. Kahit nga sa loob ng bookstore, iniisip ko bumili ng pagkain.

Pero di man matigil ang paglapad ko, alam ko pa din na maganda ako. Kaya nga madami ang nagkakagusto sa’kin. Aba! Sigurado ako dun. Bago ka mag-react diyan, mag-isip ka muna. Sige nga, kailan ba kayo nakakita ng baboy na hindi cute? At kailan kayo nakakita ng lechon na hindi pinansin o kinain? Yun ang patunay na gusto ako ng lahat at talagang cute ako.

Naalala ko pa bata pa lang ako talagang mapang-asar na talaga ako. Meron nga akong kalaro noon na binu-bully ko palagi. Hindi siya puwede maglaro kung hindi siya ang palaging taya. Kaya lang di niya ata ako natagalan. Lumipat sila ng bahay ng walang paalam na parang iniwasan pa na malaman ko iyon. Akala siguro pipigilan ko. Wihihihihi. At least, sa murang gulang alam na niya manindigan. Bakit pa niya kailangan magtiis kung meron naman ibang pagpipilian? At ako namang hindi napagtiyagaan o pinili, bakit naman ako magmumukmok? Wala mang magtagal, sigurado naman akong may dadating na iba diyan. Halimaw man o bakulaw dadating din yun. Pag di dumating e di wag.

Nung pumasok ako sa school, walang araw na wala akong kaaway. Gusto ko kasi ako ang laging bida. Bidang kontrabida. Madalas naman panalo ako. Isinusumbong ko palagi ang klasmeyt ko sa titser ko e. Siyempre, bakit naman ako magpapatalo kung alam kong may laban ako? Ika nga ng brand ng damit No Fear. Palaging walang takot. Bakit ka naman matatakot kung di mo pa nasusubukan? Kung subukan mo man at kahindik-hindik ang kalalabasan, e ano naman ngayon? Ang mahalaga sinubukan mo at mas matapang ka na ngayon. Matalo man sa laban, wala namang pagsisisi sa dakong huli.

College na ako nung magsimula akong tumino. Kung katinuan ngang maituturing iyon. Heto ang panahon ng katotohanan para sa’kin. Yugto na pinakamasarap balik-balikan. Totoong buhay estudyante. Kung para sa karamihan high school ang pinakamasarap na panahon ng pag-aaral, sa’kin college. Lahat ng nakilala ko nun nagkaron ng malalaking parte ng puso ko. Lahat ng matitinding kalokohan at katototahanan nakita ko dahil sa kolehiyo.

College din nung nagsimula akong mag-rebelde sa aking sarili at sa aking kapaligiran. Hindi pala totoong pantay-pantay ang tao. Pinapaniwala lang tayo ng mga mambabatas na priority nila tayo pero ang totoo busy sila mag-isip kung paano at saang paraan pa sila makakamolestiya sa mga tao. Kahit nga sa loob ng pamilya may pulitika. At kahit sa pagbili mo ng pagkain, hindi ka lulubayan nito.

Naalala ko nung mag-21 ako talagang humagulgol ako sa iyak. Hagulgol ng kaligayahan. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam. Salamat sa Civil/Family Code. Hindi man ako naging lubos na malaya, may karapatan na ako para i-invoke ito. Majority rules!

Parang kailan lang, 27 na pala ako. Hindi perpekto ang naging huling 7 taon sa buhay ko. Pero naghudyat ito ng malalaking pagbabago sa buhay ko. Tulad halimbawa ng mga desisyong ginawa at hindi na mababawi. Mga desisyon na mas mabuti sa nakararami kaysa sa sarili. Mga relasyong pinasok at inayawan sa di malamang kadahilanan. Mga commitments na hindi mapanindigan. Bagay na ginusto para sa sumaya ang iba. Mga multo at horror story ng buhay na ayaw na alalahanin o pag-usapan pa. At mga taong kilala ko noon pero parang hindi na ngayon.

Ang bilis ng panahon. At hindi ko na talaga mapigilan pa ang pagtanda. Hindi na mapigilan ang mga pagbabago. Halimbawa kahapon, baboy pa lang akong maituturing ngayon na-promote na ko. Isang certified panda na ako. Salamat sa Facebook at talagang malaking tulong sila sa paglaki at lalong pag-itim ng eyebags ko. Salamat sa Bleach at Death Note lalo akong nag-isip monyita. Mabuti na lang marunong din ako magbasa ng Bibliya. Salamat kay Inuyasha at naging senti ako. At kay Garfield na inspirasyon ko para wag pumayat. Salamat sa mga kaibigan kong inspirasyon ko sa maraming bagay. Kung akala niyo nakakatulong ako sa inyo, kabaligtaran yun. Mas doble ang tulong na nagagawa niyo sa’kin. Di niyo lang napapansin. Salamat sa mga distractors ko at sa awa ng witchraft, tumatalbog sa kanila ang panlalait nila. Di man ako naniniwala sa karma, alam kong umeepekto rin yun paminsan-minsan. Walang tapos na pasasalamat sa maraming matitiyagang nagbabasa ng blog ko at hindi pa din nila nahuhulaan kung sino ang mga characters na isinusulat ko. Nawa’y manatiling ganun habang buhay. Salamat din naman sa pamilya ko at napagtanto ko na ang mga pangarap ko ay hindi magiging totoo habang iniisip kong pangarap lang ito. At higit na pasasalamat kay Bro dahil buhay na naman ako. Bigyan niya pa sana ako ng mas maraming birthday para may susunod na Pagbabalik-tanaw blog.

Hindi ako nag-se celebrate ng birthday. Hininto ko na ang ritwal na ito nung mag-18 ako. Hindi na mahalaga kung bakit. Simple lang ang ibig sabihin sa'kin ng okasyong birthday: pagbabalik-tanawa at pasasalamat.  Isang araw na dapat ilaan sa katahimikan at pagninilay-nilay At kung meron man akong aral na natutunan sa nakalipas na 27 taon ay ang halaga ng pagiging bata. Kabataan na minsan lang dadaan sa buhay ko. Sayang lang at hindi ko ito nalubos.

Puwede bang maging bata ulit? Kung sabagay twen-teen seven pa lang naman ako e.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Colour Wheel

Sinasabi ng mga dalubhasa sa sining ng Sikolohiya na ang mga taong may hilig daw sa mga kulay ay may angking galing sa pagkamalikhain (inclination to art). Kung nagsimula ang pagka-giliw mo sa mga kulay mula sa pagkabata, hindi malayong sa larangan ng sining mapunta ang iyong propesyon. Apat sa 10 bata na mahilig sa kulay o pagkukulay ay lumalaking may hilig sa sining ng pag-guhit. Habang ang natitirang 6 naman ay nagkakaron ng hilig sa larangan ng pagsulat. Ahem, ahem. Ayun naman pala. Kaya nung malaman ko ito, hindi na ko nagtaka kung bakit may angking talento ako sa pagsulat.

Yun naman daw mga taong malaki na nung nagkahilig sa kulay ay nagkakaroon ng mayabong na karera sa larangan ng disenyo o kaya naman ay sa pagiging events coordinator. Habang yun naman daw mas nais ang manood lang (laging audience o taong-bayan) ay tumatandang tsismoso o tsimosa. O di naman kaya mabilis sila maloko, mabola, magoyo o yung tinatawag nila sa English na gullible.

Parang ngayon. Naniwala at nadala kayo sa mga pinagsasabi ko habang hindi naman totoo ang lahat ng ito. Sa madaling sabi, naniwala kayo sa mga inimbento kong ito. Di ba parang realistic? Epektib!


Sound effect: GKNB?! song!

Pero kung sa tutuuisin sa kulay naipahahayag ng tao ang kanyang saloobin. Sabi nga nila, "While art is a great form of expression, colour is the greatest display of it!" Sinong nagsabi? Ako! Alangan naman humanap pa ko ng ibang source e di credit pa nila 'to! O ayan, strike two na ko ha.

Nung bata pa ko, mahilig talaga ako mag-ekspiremento sa kulay. Tuwing Linggo kapag nagsisimba kami ng buong pamilya, nagagalit sa 'kin ang nanay ko kapag pinipilit ko magsuot ng ternong dark green blouse at dark brown pants. Ang lagi kong tanong: "Bakit hindi puwede? Bago naman ang blouse ko ha?" Salamat na lang nung mag-elementary ako, naintindihan ko na kapag ganun ang suot, baka isipin ng taong makakakita na isa akong puno o kaya naman model ng clean and green project ng simbahan. Parang kumain ka ng pandesal na may ketchup tapos sinawsaw mo sa taho. O kaya uminom ka ng coke tapos nilagyan ng cream habang kumakain ka ng mangga't bagoong. O kaya naman sinubukan mong lagyan ng peanut butter ang itlog na sunny side up. Parang oreo cookies na isinawsaw mo sa wine. Yung ganung pakiramdam. Puwedeng kainin pero yikes ang pakiramdam. Salamat na lang sa nanay ko at niligtas niya ko sa tiyak na kahihiyan. Pag nagkataon baka makilala pa ko sa ganung trend. No way! Highway!

Voice Over: I did not kill anybody!

Hindi ko alam kung talagang may topak lang talaga ako. Naalala ko kasi nung mag-7th birthday yung kalaro ko, habang excited ang lahat para sa pagbubukas ng mga regalo, ako naka-tingin sa mga lobo. Sabi nila ang kulay daw ng mga lobo na iyon ay rainbow. Nagtaka ako, pa'no nila nalaman na rainbow ang kulay e hindi naman umuulan. Atsaka napakalayo at napakataas naman ng rainbow para malaman yun. Pero sa kabilang banda, natuwa ako sa mga kulay ng lobo. Nursery Rhyme Mode: Red is the color of an apple. Orange, is the color of an orange. Yellow is the color of the wonderful sun.

Bukod sa mga kulay na yun, meron din white, green, purple, tsaka yung matingkad na rosas na parang kulay pula. Ano na nga ba yun? Puscha, este Fucha, este, Fuschiya. Putcha! Dark Pink na lang!

Ang nakapagtataka nung mga panahong iyon, bakit walang silver na lobo? Bakit may puting lobo pero walang black? Bakit walang gold? Bakit walang brown? Bakit ganun? Nay, bakit?

Nung lumaki na ko (at talagang malaki ako) hindi pa rin nawala sa ugat ko ang pagkahilig sa kulay. Parang aids lang --- walang lunas. Ngayon mas madami akong kilala na ginagamit ang kulay kapag nagse-senti sila.

Emo ang background music para mas cool.

Halimbawa pag masaya ka, lagi mong sinasabing sinabawang gulay ang buhay mo (makulay kasi). Pero 'pag malungkot ka, sinasabi mo naman na "I'm blue." O di ba, parang si cookie monster lang.

Yung mga college pals ko na sobrang arte, red ang kulay ng ballpen pag galit sa mga boypren nila. Tapos silver and gold pag bati na sila with matching scented stationary pa. Yung mga sosyal at pa-sosyal pink para may fashion sense kuno, tapos may iba't-ibang kulay ng highlighter yung mga yun. Sarap kulayan ang mga mukha nila ng violet! Pag walang alam kungdi mangopya ng mangopya, walang kulay ang ballpen nila. Wala kasi silang ballpen. Pag bading -- green. Pag aktibista laging matingkad ang suot. Parang giyera palagi. Yung di nag-to toothbrush bukod sa mabaho ang hininga, yellow ang ngipin nila. Yung iba brown ang underarm (nagpuputik). Yung iba naka-uniform na puti kahit green ang uniporme namin. Namumuti kasi sa alikabok! Pero ang pinakamalupit yung klasmeyt ko na black ang suot na damit sa buong semester, bumagsak!

Iba't-iba man ang kulay mo o kahit anong kulay ka pa, mas matindi pa din ang kulay ng loob. Wag ka mahihiya. Paborito ko man ang kulay na dilaw, hindi ako tagapag-sunod ni Tita Cory. Sa bandang dulo pinaka-maganda pa din sa paningin ko ang walang kulay. Colourless ika nga. Pero hindi si Casper siyempre. Parang tubig lang: malinaw. Yun ang kulay ng totoong malinis na damdamin. Purong damdamin at dalisay ang hangarin. Bihira na ngayon ang ganito ha. Mas madalas sa hindi kulay pusali na.

Ikaw, anong kulay ka?

Friday, September 4, 2009

Biyahe Papuntang Monumento

"Kung nakamamatay ang maling akala, pa'no pa kung maling hinala?"

Curtain Call. Action!

Scenario: Sa isang masikip na bus nakatayo ang mga pasahero papuntang Monumento. Isa sa mga pasahero ng bus na ito ay ang isang binatilyong gwapo (pag tulog) at may suot na itim na backpack. Kamukha siya ni Pepeng Agimat pero walang kulubot sa mukha. Nakatayo sa likod niya ang isa namang lalaking kalbo, di katandaan at kamukha ni Kitano-kun (tingnan mo wall photos ko para makilala mo siya kung ayaw mo naman e di wag). Itatago natin siya sa pangalang Mamang Kalbo sa likod ng batang Pepeng Agimat na walang kulubot sa mukha.

Sadyang napakasikip sa bus na iyon. Animo'y magkakapalit-palit na ng mukha ang mga tao. Buti na lang walang aso. Dahil parang sardinas ang mga tao sa bus, hindi na halos sila makagalaw. Huwag na mabanggit na amoy sardinas din sa loob ng bus. Baho! Gravvvvvveeeee!!! Glade spray muna tayo ha.... O ayan. Lysol naman.

Dahil hindi na makagalaw ang lalaki sa kanyang harapan, binuksan ng mamang kalbo ang bag na itim ng binatang gwapo. Duon kinuha niya ang wallet at cellphone nito at dali-daling ibinulsa ito. Ay tragedy.

Sa di kalayuan nakatayo si Ugok 3. Nakita niya ang: krimen? Daglian siyang tumakbo (pero slomo para may special effects) para sagipin ang wari'y ninanakawan na mama. Kinonyatan ni Ugok 3 ang mamang kalbo kasing lakas ng hampas ng isang maso na parang lalabas na ang utak sa lakas. Nagbukol pa ito ng mas malaki pa sa piso (yung pisong pilak ha). Namula ang lalaki sa sakit at nagkulay kamote ang mga labi niya na hindi makasigaw ng aray sa solid na konyat ni Ugok 3.

Feeling national superhero si Ugok 3 sa nagawa. Medal of Valor awardee siya pag nagkataon. Nagtapang-tapangan siya at tinangkang tadyakan ang lalaking namimilipit sa sakit. Biglang lingon ng lalaking may-ari ng bag at nagulat na napasigaw:

"No, please. Dooooonnnnn't! Tatay ko po yan!"

Ayun natawa lang si Ugok 3. Sabi niya: "Peace, yoh!" sabay baba sa bus.

Curtain closes.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Roller Coaster Ride

Ang biyahe ng buhay ay isang hamon na tanging kamatayan lang ang makakatapos. Sadyang mahirap. Sadyang mapagbiro. Ika nga ng marami, para itong roller coaster.

Roller coaster.

Isang paikot-ikot na pag-agos. Paulit ulit dahil pabilog ang direksyon nito. E kelan ba naging parisukat ang bilog? Sige nga, imagine-nin mo nga kung parisukat ang direksyon ng roller coaster? Iniisip ko pa lang talagang nauuntog na ko. Di ko carry! Helmet please!

Baka imbes ma-high ka sa saya, bigla kang ma-low sa iyak. Parang yung kanta ni Flo-Rida? Pano na nga yun? Singing mode: Up the bottom jeans... Lo, lo, lo, lo! O wag mag-react. Alam ko mali na ang lyrics mali pa ang spelling.

Pero sa kabilang banda, ano nga ba ang mararamdaman mo kapag parisukat ang roller coaster? Malamang di mo na yun mararamdaman dahil ER na ang bagsak mo. Emediete Rest. Wahahaha!

Pag nagkataon, kakantahan kita ng:

Kung kayo'y may anak na umiiyak
Bigyan lamang ng isang tadyak
Hawakan sa leeg at ibalibag
Duon magkakaroon ng free, free bukol.

Sa tutuusin, wala naman kasing madaling pag-agos. Kahit pa nga yung ilog na tuloy-tuloy ang daloy ng tubig dadaan pa din sa maliliit at malalaking bato. Gaano man kaganda at kalawak ng dagat, sa gitna nito may pating pa din na nakaabang para kainin ka. Kahit nga siguro yung mga mayayaman ngayon sigurado akong ilang sugal ang nilabanan para lang makapili ng kasayahang angkop sa kanila. Kailangan lang natin tanggapin na ang buhay ay isang perya na makulay. Kailangan mo lang piliin ng mabuti ang "ride" na magdadala sa'yo sa tamang landas ng kaligayahan.

Malamang nagtataka na kayo kung bakit senti mode ako ngayon. Simple lang naman ang sagot: Idol ko kasi si Sentino! Yung batang malapit kay Bro.

Senti mode din kasi ang nararamdaman ng sunod na bidang character ng blog ko. Bida?!!! You must be kidding!

Si Ugok 2.

Kakaiba si Ugok sa kanyang mga ka-tropa. Kahit mag-back track ka pa, sinabi ko din kakaiba si Ugok 1. Make sense to me? Coffee mate for my coffee.

Ayaw niya ng may kasama palagi. Loner kasi siya. Like niya kasi palagi away from the limelight. You know, the fans and the interviews plus shooting, commercials, guestings and all.....(guni-guni lang ito, pag naniwala ka, biktima ka ng Wow Mali!)

Sa araw na ito, sumakay siya sa roller coaster. Sinubukan niya ang kilalang carnival sa Laguna na ang pangalan ay EK (Enchang Karnibal). Sabi ko na nga e, iniisip niyo Enchanted Kingdom e. Hmmmm... wag ka tatawa. Psst... kita ko na gilagid mo.

Pag andar ng coaster, kinabahan siya. Sino ba ang hindi? Roller coaster sa peryahan? Yikes!

Sumigaw siya: "Help!!! Help!!! Where's my Hero?"

Ayun walang nakarinig. Hindi dumating si Darna. Nagsho-shooting pa kasi. Pinapataas niya pa ang rating niya sa TV. Wala din si Kumander Bawang kasi matanda na. Bukod sa panahon pa ng Bagets ang era niya. Si Kapitan Inggo naman wala ng break kaya hindi maka-rescue. Hindi makalipad si Captain Barbel kasi nawawala ang barbel niya. Ninakaw ng kapit-bahay niyang paminta na nangangarap maging gym instructor. Si Dyesebel naman nasa dagat hindi makalipad. Kahit nga si Marina at Dugong walang maipadalang alagad. Si Superman naman hindi pupunta ng Pilipinas, nasa Amerika kasi siya, takot pumunta ng 'pinas kasi baka kidnapin lang ng Abu Sayyaf. Malaking ransom yun pag nagkataon. Masyadong mahal ang TF ni Batman kaya can't afford to rescue. Si Spiderman naman, napulupot sa mga sapot niya. Tapos na kasi ang trilogy movie niya kulang na sa praktis.

Ganun lang. Parang thriller story pero hindi ka natakot. Isipin mo na lang apat na beses mo pinanood ang Shake Rattle and Roll pero tumatawa ka pa din pagkatapos. Sabay sabi! Oh, my you're such a waste of money.

Kaya nung tumigil ang roller coaster, bumaba na din si Ugok 2. Sabay suka! Yuck!